Thursday, December 13, 2012

How do you teach generosity and graciousness?

As we approach pass Thanksgiving and enter the winter holiday season I was really struck by how lucky I am and we are as a family to be where we are.  We don't have as much this years as some, but we have plenty.

I have a great job (it has its challenges, but that is another story), that allows us to be comfortable and also allows my husband to go to school full time to finish his PhD.  It also allows me to continue my education towards completion of my BSN once and for all.  It is time to move past my good old ADN and finished my degree once and for all.  So, this rambling background story leads to where I am really headed with this story...

I know I do not take time to appreciate and be thankful and grateful for all that we have.  I in turn need to take the time to teach the kids about thankfulness and to not take it for granted that we are comfortable.

I am trying to focus on how we can share our good fortune this season and I am also using this as a learning opportunity for the kids to share and absorb the fact that we have plenty and it is a duty to share with those that are not as fortunate.

I will digress again for a moment.  I just completed a nursing class dealing with public health and care of vulnerable populations ex: the elderly, those without health care, migrate workers, people below the poverty level etc.  I focused my research for this class on the town and county that I live in.  A particularly affluent area in North Texas and was shocked at what I discovered.  There are so many services that are lacking and people living without the daily necessities that live on my back porch.  Shocking! (I suppose I probably knew this deep down, but didn't really think about it)

So, this season we have taken some of what we have an shared it with those less fortunate.  It started with my oldest, who is 15, who on his own used his own money to contribute to a charity project in his English class involving a less fortunate child and furnishing the child's wish list.  He did this on his own with his own money from his birthday.  Mail ordered a specific, odd request from the kid and delivered to the gift basket at school.

This then led me to contacting our local community outreach and participating in their Angel program and taking the youngest, who is 4 to buy the gifts on the list.  As we were shopping we talked about generosity and sharing.  And also about the fact that this little Angel Boy would not get gifts without our help.  My son was very concerned that our Angel Boy, as he named him, asked for a coat.  He couldn't understand why Angel Boy didn't have a coat when it is so cold out.  He told me, "I have lots of coats, I'll give him one of mine!"  So again, teaching moment I hope, I reminded him how fortunate he was that he had lots of coats and that many people young and old do not.

I also shared with the family about how instead of a gift exchange at my work, it was decided as an office to each donate $20 to the local food bank.

I hope this makes an impact on them.  I also explained that because I spent money on gifts for our Angel Boy, that meant I had less in the Xmas budget to spend on them.  They were okay with this.  I know it makes me feel good to do it. I hope it was a learning experience for them and that I taught them something by example. 

Pay it forward...

Thursday, October 25, 2012

P18X - In the home stretch...

Almost finished!  Home stretch! Bottom of the ninth! The final count down! Last lap!

Holy crap... this is monumental, but I am ready to move on to something else.  90 days of the same thing over and over is a long time.  I have been recently grumbling to myself about the hour it takes, but that is stupid.  It take a lot longer to go to the gym.  this is done at home in the living room any time.  I need to remember that part.

On a completely different note.  My resistance band snapped the other day which has forced me to move on to doing pull ups with the pull up bar.  I can do it!  I didn't thnk I could, so I never tried before.


Not sure where we are going next. 

We have 18 days to think about it. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012


Double blarg!!!  We missed a day of the P90X.  I wanted to do the whole thing and never miss once.

 But... between seasonal allergies, homework, grading, a preparing for a job interview, a bike crash, trip to urgent care/pharmacy, the hour and a half work out didn't happen. The irony is after all that we probably needed and hour and a half of yoga to chill out.

Back on track though, that whole mess was Tuesday and the work-outs got done on Wednesday.  It's another rest week, this week, so the work-out order is switched up.  I'll be glad when we are finished.  It's getting old!!  But, it is definitely making a difference in both of our fitness levels.  I'll really see if it's made a difference next weekend.  We are going to run a 5K.  The husband will have no problem.  He's done them and is/has been a runner.  I am not a runner, so we'll see.  It'll be fun though.There is a 50 yard dash for the kids and they get a t-shirt at the beginning and a dog tag necklace after the race.  They also have childcare for the kids during the actual race, so the little booger will be able to hang out and play while we run. I hope the weather is ice.  It's cooled off, now for Fall, so it should be nice and mild.

Now to not obsess about the job interview!!!  I hate waiting.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Agree to disagree...

People are weird.

That weirdness really rears it's ugly head during times of political debate.  There is always an undercurrent of weirdness, but nothing like an election to bring the radicals out of the woodwork.

So, no big secret, I lean to the left. Pretty far to the left, by most people's standards.  I'm open minded about it though.  I am completely open to agree to disagree.


Do not judge me if you don't know me...
Do not condemn my beliefs and I will not condemn yours...
Do not witness to me or my children...
Keep religion out of the science classroom and put it into humanities where it belongs...
I'll respect your opinions, if you respect mine...

And we'll get along just fine.

Radicalism is a very scary and nasty thing.  No matter where it comes from.  And it can come from the left as well as the right. 

Everyone just needs to smarten the hell up and be open minded.  Ha ha ha!  Like that will ever happen, as I watch society become more and more segregated in their beliefs.

In that case, I guess we just need to find like minded people and stick together. But then again, I will circle back around to saying that I am willing to hear your opinions and respect them, if you are willing to hear mine and in turn also respect them.  I will agree to disagree, until you cross the line. Until then, we'll get along just fine.  Unfortunately it seems that no one can control themselves and the line just gets bulldozed.

Very disappointing.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Halfway through...

Okay, almost halfway through.  I think we are on day 42 or something like that.  This week is the halfway point.  It's getting a little repetative, but you have to look for the humor in the work-outs.  Tony is like the Michael Scott of exercise videos. "Blam Pam!!" and "Coca COla, that's right, I said it!!"  Corny and annoying, but there is gold hidden in there.  We just tough it out and laugh at the stupid stuff and the cheesy music. Once again, I can proudly report that we have not yet missed a work-out.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Moving right along...

We are still at it.  I can proudly say that niether of us have missed a day of P90X, yet.  The kids are getting used to seeing me jumping around in front of the TV.  The little guy will get in there and do it, too. It's pretty cute.  He was being a terror while I was doing the yoga work-out on Friday, which is challenging when you don't have a four year old running back and forth under your downward dogs that you hold for the longest 5 breaths in existence.  I have to say his form is great, though.  I'm jealous.

Keepin' on truckin'!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Recovery Week, that's a joke!!

We made it to the recovery week in P90X.  Scary thing is that it is harder than the non recovery week!!

We have also discovered that it is not getting any easier, we are just getting better at it.

I still can't do eveything in all the work-outs. I really have to modify and baby my knee for some of the work outs.  I also pulled a muscle in my hip/butt.  That is slowly improving.  It sucks to get old! I have not even tried to do a pull up.  Maybe I should, but I don't want to, yet. 


We are actually doing this!!!  and I am actually keping up with my husband!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

2 weeks in and still moving...

We have now completed two weeks and we are starter week number 3 this morning.  I t is feeling easier, not so much muscle stiffness and I am seeing progress in how much I can do of the exercises.  We are both determined to beat the yoga work-out.  It is our nemesis!!  We will conquer the yoga routine unlike any yoga I have experienced before.... 

I still did pushups till my eyes bled this morning, but it was easier.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


One week down.  There were a couple days last week it was painful to move.  I have muscles I did not know I had. I think at one point my eyelids were stiff. I did pushups and situps until I thought might eyes might bleed, all at 0500 in the morning.

 This morning was easier, just a tiny bit!  My pants are looser.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

We did it!

We both dragged ourselves out of bed at 0515 and did our 2 workouts.  It was hard, but managable.  I'm going to be sore tomorrow.  I'm now trying to convince myself that this energized me for the rest of the day.  In reality I'm kind of in a jello-ish stupor.  I still made it in to work by 0800!

It's all good.

Monday, August 13, 2012

We may have lost our minds....

So, the husband and I are going to attempt P90X.  It should be interesting.  I'm scared we might seriously die of exhaustion, but if we don't it should be pretty cool.

We were trying to figure out when to fit in the workouts.  The evening is out since we would have to do it after we got the little boy to bed and that's when we do homeowork.  Plus the husband will have evening classes to attend and teach in the Fall.  So...  It's going to have to be early in the morning.  Really early!!  Because I need to be on the highway to work by 0700 or traffic is a nightmare.  The good thing is that will force me to go to bed early, which I  never do.  Which again means....  that homework time is going to be early evening and that means no TV time.  Not that we really watch much anyway, but when we do it's in the evening.  Oh well....not a big deal.  Totally worth it to not look like a giant fat ass any more.  One of my co-workers did the program and she said she went down 4 dress sizes!  She looks great.  Not super skinny, just good!

We both passed the prereq fit test, without too much trouble, so one day off today and we start tomorrow.  We even took the GOD AWFUL comparison pictures. Yikes!!

I'm going to try and post regularily to keep myself honest, ha! 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

More Knitting...

I finally got blogger working again.  Technical issues...

Posted about another knitting project at

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


I am feeling unsettled lately.

There are changes on the horizon and I need to be patient and just wait and see what happens, but I am not doing very well. I want to know how things will roll, so I can prepare.

Things will changing signifigantly for our family. In a good way. This is something that was meant to be and happened for a reason and will be great for us all. Yet, I'm a little apprehensive, but we will all work together and work it out, but the next year will be a tight one. All this means, though is that we need to start to prepare in adavnce and we are.

There is another siutation that is effecting me and the spouse, but we have already decided that we need to just let it go. We have talked alot about it and it is dragging us down. We are becoming negative and a little spiteful and we need to stop that right now before Karma runs us down. We are better than that. It doesn't mean we arn't a little hurt by it though. But again, it is really not important in the grand scheme if things. If it was meant to be, it would already be and it's not, so we need to let it go.

I seriously need to get out more. A friend of mine had asked "where is her tribe"? That is a good question. Where is my tribe? I need to find it. Keeping up with my old friends on Facebook is nice, but they are not here with me. Virtual friends don't cut the mustard. I need to get out there, I know that there are ladies with similar thoughts and interests. I hope, anyway. Surely there must be??

Hmmm.... Still unsettled. I feel like I need a game plan. I thought I had one. But, I don't think it's good enough. I need something, but I just don't know what it is.....

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Giving up meat for Lent.... a year later

Lent is earlier this year, than last year. I believe my post last year was March 21, so it has not technically been a full year.

So, here I am a year later and I am still not eating meat. I had a brief time in December where I did have a little, but I really was finding that I was having a hard time even making myself eat it and that my default was to not.

I don't miss it. In fact it kind of yucks me out a little now, depending on what it is. I do still occasionally eat fish, sushi is one thing I am not giving up and also fish and chips. Sorry. Also, if I am presented with the opportunity to have french fries with brown gravy, I am not guaranteeing that I will not have to have them.

It is interesting at my house, now. Hubby is not eating meat at home and neither is the big boy. I will make chicken nuggets for the little guy, because he is picky and I don t want him to starve. Yes, I know, if he is hungry enough he'll eat and I do make him try new things, but I can't take away his chicken nuggets. Big boy did make an attempt to give up meat completely for his own reasons and found that it is difficult and that there are often not a lot of choices without meat in the school cafeteria and so on. I'm curious to see where this is going with him.

So, a year later, I am happy with the decision and not feeling deprived. I am also getting to be a little more vocal about not eating meat, as well. After a year, I feel I've earned the right to discuss it now and not feel like a silly teenager indulging in a silly fad.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dragonfly's Series of Unfortunate Events....

Yes, this is being a tad melodramatic. There was just one really bad thing that happened and it was pretty bad (but it could have been worse, I need to remember this) and it was also good because it brought a lot of issues to the forefront and they are now being taken care of and we are working towards resolutions on a certain level, anyway.

It has made me realize several things, though.

There are people that cannot be counted on, ever. I should know this already. I have been in other situations that I would have/should have expected some support, but nothing happened. And this is not for lack of my support for these people. (maybe I am thinking too highly of myself and to them, I am not what I see myself as, hmmmm, this is food for thought) I have to admit I have pretty much stopped trying, so I guess why should I expect that I would actually hear something. (I am going to hate on social media and digital tech a bit right now, because sometimes you just gotta pick up the phone, but that takes effort, so that brings me back around to where I began. I admit I am not as good as I used to be about calling people. Facebook and texting makes things too easy, and also takes away the personal touch and makes interactions sterile.)

I cannot/should not handle things all by myself. I should have learned this lesson a long time ago. I seem to have an issue with this. It is really stupid and has led to many negative outcomes. It is not being independent or self sufficient. It is just being stupid. I have got to reach out and get help when I need it. (Which also makes me realize that I have no support system what-so-ever. Okay, this isn't completely true. A couple of my co-workers are very good, I should not count them out. If it was not for them these last two weeks would have been much worse for me. I need to nurture these into true friendships, because I truly need a support system besides my husband. I wish I lived closer to my family.)

I should never judge because "there but for the grace of God go I". I have judged and this is karma. This is payback for thinking judgmental, hateful, mean thoughts. Shame, shame, shame on me!!! I am better than that.

Everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson in here, somewhere. Several, actually.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Mr. Darcy

This is my favorite line from Pride and Prejudice. So falls away the seemingly aloof exterior of Mr. Darcy to reveal the marshmallow beneath.

So Dragonfly?? Is there a lesson to be learned here??

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Perfection is the Enemy of Good...

This particular statement came up in a meeting at work the other day. Specifically regarding process design and work flow. I think it is an excellent observation.

There is no sense in becoming paralyzed by minutia when it is really the bigger picture that needs the focus.

There is no sense in berating yourself for things not being what you have designed in your mind as perfect, when functional is appropriate and good enough.

"Good enough", is in fact good enough.

Friday, February 3, 2012


I feel the need to post a retraction to my extreme pity party last week.

I did in fact find some chocolate - dark chocolate at that. And I ate it. And it was good.

I went back for another practice. Busted my ass, fell, got hit, hit back, got scrapped up, actually was in a scrimmage and above all else reconciled this fact in my mind.


I still wanna punch that one person in the face that pissed me off last week, but I'll do one better. I'll make a whole shit load of work for them. (because I can) That's even better. I've got their number now, baby!! I'll show you passive/aggressive, bitch!

Unfortunately the house won't clean itself. Oh well. Can't win them all. I did break down and buy a Shark Steam mop. I like it a lot. Now, if I could buy a Shark that does the laundry and puts it away, that would be even better.

I am working out at lest 3 times a week, now. Fuck the scale if it can't take a joke. I may not be getting thinner, yet, but I'm jiggling less and that's something.

So, all in all, a better week. Looking forward to an even better one next week. I just need to get over myself.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Not a good day...

I read a blog post recently that said "comparison is the thief of joy". I need to focus on that today as I sit and sulk about my life.

I recently have started an athletic endeavor - I suck, I'm too old and I hurt a freaking lot after every practice. The mind is willing, but the body is weak and old and fat and frumpy and disgruntled!!! It is a cool sport and I am a totally not cool person in that way, soooooo..... Actually what is disappointing, but not really surprising is that I was really hoping I might meet some potential new friends. Not really, they are mostly just weird, not friendly or over the top and annoying. (I'm prolly the problem in this case, I'm sure I'm not being very approachable myself. I tend to do that in new, uncomfortable situations)

I yelled at my kids this morning. I am a shrew! I hear all about these Moms that get to stay home and get to spend time with their kids and do fun motherly type stuff and I round 'em up, head 'em out, yell at them. There is no "this moment" at my house. I wish.

On a diet, starving to death, busting my ass at the gym, not getting anywhere. Very discouraging.

The house is always wrecked. Doesn't matter if it was just picked up and cleaned up an hour before, it's in a perpetual state of wrecked.

I got told I am not a real nurse. Yup, true. Not a real nurse any more. What's the point in what I do??????? Don't know..... Paycheck???? At least I'm not working the night shift. Then I'd be really, really, really bitchy, not just really bitchy.

I need to stop comparing myself to other people. I need to just worry about myself. Make improvements there. Quit feeling sorry for myself. It's just been a hard week, for no particular reason.

I'm prolly just hungry and have PMS.

I'm going to go search for some chocolate and coffee, maybe that will make me feel better.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A final resolution...

I looked back at what I posted yesterday and realized one more thing that I need to concentrate on. We need to concentrate on it as a family, too.

To just have more fun....

Enjoy each others company and have fun....

Be active and have fun....

Chillax and have fun....

Most importantly - make time to have fun!!!!

Rainbow Beans

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

a Year in Review... a Fresh Start, too

things accomplished...

completed 12 credit hours towards my degree
managed to actually read a couple books that were not textbooks
meat free for 9 months (more on that)
lost 10 pounds
kept off 10 pounds
was able to go home to Canada
paid off a long standing credit card
regular consistent exercise

things to aim for...

break some bad habits, one pertaining to procrastination and another to attitude and another to just letting go of things - karma karma karma, is going to bite me in the ass if I don't!
complete at least another 12, but aiming for 18 credit hours towards my degree
remaining meat free - had a stumble at the beginning of December when I was having issues with my hair falling out - not good!!! but, hubby is also going meat free with me and this will lend itself to a much more well rounded diet, he's done it before, but its been a while, I'm going to stay on top of my omega3 supplements, too and see if that helps
be better about staying in contact with family and friends, I have a tendency to not do this and then wonder why things go on without me, I am not allowed to have hurt feelings if I don't initiate sometimes
this will be a year of personal improvement, I hope...