Friday, January 27, 2012

Not a good day...

I read a blog post recently that said "comparison is the thief of joy". I need to focus on that today as I sit and sulk about my life.

I recently have started an athletic endeavor - I suck, I'm too old and I hurt a freaking lot after every practice. The mind is willing, but the body is weak and old and fat and frumpy and disgruntled!!! It is a cool sport and I am a totally not cool person in that way, soooooo..... Actually what is disappointing, but not really surprising is that I was really hoping I might meet some potential new friends. Not really, they are mostly just weird, not friendly or over the top and annoying. (I'm prolly the problem in this case, I'm sure I'm not being very approachable myself. I tend to do that in new, uncomfortable situations)

I yelled at my kids this morning. I am a shrew! I hear all about these Moms that get to stay home and get to spend time with their kids and do fun motherly type stuff and I round 'em up, head 'em out, yell at them. There is no "this moment" at my house. I wish.

On a diet, starving to death, busting my ass at the gym, not getting anywhere. Very discouraging.

The house is always wrecked. Doesn't matter if it was just picked up and cleaned up an hour before, it's in a perpetual state of wrecked.

I got told I am not a real nurse. Yup, true. Not a real nurse any more. What's the point in what I do??????? Don't know..... Paycheck???? At least I'm not working the night shift. Then I'd be really, really, really bitchy, not just really bitchy.

I need to stop comparing myself to other people. I need to just worry about myself. Make improvements there. Quit feeling sorry for myself. It's just been a hard week, for no particular reason.

I'm prolly just hungry and have PMS.

I'm going to go search for some chocolate and coffee, maybe that will make me feel better.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A final resolution...

I looked back at what I posted yesterday and realized one more thing that I need to concentrate on. We need to concentrate on it as a family, too.

To just have more fun....

Enjoy each others company and have fun....

Be active and have fun....

Chillax and have fun....

Most importantly - make time to have fun!!!!

Rainbow Beans

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

a Year in Review... a Fresh Start, too

things accomplished...

completed 12 credit hours towards my degree
managed to actually read a couple books that were not textbooks
meat free for 9 months (more on that)
lost 10 pounds
kept off 10 pounds
was able to go home to Canada
paid off a long standing credit card
regular consistent exercise

things to aim for...

break some bad habits, one pertaining to procrastination and another to attitude and another to just letting go of things - karma karma karma, is going to bite me in the ass if I don't!
complete at least another 12, but aiming for 18 credit hours towards my degree
remaining meat free - had a stumble at the beginning of December when I was having issues with my hair falling out - not good!!! but, hubby is also going meat free with me and this will lend itself to a much more well rounded diet, he's done it before, but its been a while, I'm going to stay on top of my omega3 supplements, too and see if that helps
be better about staying in contact with family and friends, I have a tendency to not do this and then wonder why things go on without me, I am not allowed to have hurt feelings if I don't initiate sometimes
this will be a year of personal improvement, I hope...