Yes, this is being a tad melodramatic. There was just one really bad thing that happened and it was pretty bad (but it could have been worse, I need to remember this) and it was also good because it brought a lot of issues to the forefront and they are now being taken care of and we are working towards resolutions on a certain level, anyway.
It has made me realize several things, though.
There are people that cannot be counted on, ever. I should know this already. I have been in other situations that I would have/should have expected some support, but nothing happened. And this is not for lack of my support for these people. (maybe I am thinking too highly of myself and to them, I am not what I see myself as, hmmmm, this is food for thought) I have to admit I have pretty much stopped trying, so I guess why should I expect that I would actually hear something. (I am going to hate on social media and digital tech a bit right now, because sometimes you just gotta pick up the phone, but that takes effort, so that brings me back around to where I began. I admit I am not as good as I used to be about calling people. Facebook and texting makes things too easy, and also takes away the personal touch and makes interactions sterile.)
I cannot/should not handle things all by myself. I should have learned this lesson a long time ago. I seem to have an issue with this. It is really stupid and has led to many negative outcomes. It is not being independent or self sufficient. It is just being stupid. I have got to reach out and get help when I need it. (Which also makes me realize that I have no support system what-so-ever. Okay, this isn't completely true. A couple of my co-workers are very good, I should not count them out. If it was not for them these last two weeks would have been much worse for me. I need to nurture these into true friendships, because I truly need a support system besides my husband. I wish I lived closer to my family.)
I should never judge because "there but for the grace of God go I". I have judged and this is karma. This is payback for thinking judgmental, hateful, mean thoughts. Shame, shame, shame on me!!! I am better than that.
Everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson in here, somewhere. Several, actually.
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